One mother spent years of her life trying to help a son who was heavily involved in addiction and other poor choices. She felt like a failure because she couldn’t save her son from his choices. Her son spent years away from the family. As he began a slow journey back to building a relationship, she set boundaries of what she would and would not allow in her home. These boundaries protected her and ensured that she would not enable his addiction.
Set Boundaries: “The boundaries we set will help us meet our spiritual, emotional, and physical needs and ultimately help us feel safe and at peace” (Principle 8: “Support Guide: Help for Spouses and Family of Those in Recovery”).
Bad choices thrive in secrecy, and deceit is its lifeblood. A turning point for our loved ones occurs when they recognize the role secrecy and deceit play in enabling their bad choices. When our loved ones lie to us or deceive us and minimize their bad behavior, we lose trust in them. Open and honest communication is the beginning of rebuilding trust.